Recovery
by greeneyedgirl105
Summary: Sequel to Shot of Faith. Filled with spirits, rebels, and young love. Yeah, it's another Zuko and OC, but I've been told the first one was pretty good, so I'd love for you to give it a chance! Seeking editor.
1. Author's Introduction

***For Newcomers: This is the sequel to Shot of Faith, which I highly recommend you read before you read this. Thanks.***

**For those who have read Shot of Faith:**

**Yes, I've restarted Recovery like three times. Yes, I've badly neglected readers and my story. Yes, I swore to myself that I would write the whole story before I posted it again. No, I didn't do that. But I do have eight chapter done, and a basic outline. So, it's looking pretty promising. I'm really liking it so far.**

**Bear with me you wonderful, wonderful people. **

**Also, if you want to follow me on Tumblr, I don't do much at all, but my username is syndicateeveryboat. Yay! Lol. **

**Okay guys. I'm gonna do it this time. Uploads may be a bit slower than Shot of Faith, but yeah. **

**WISH ME LUCK. Thanks for all the reviews and just for reading my story! I adore both compliments and constructive criticism, so bring it on!**


	2. Chapter 1

_Prologue_

_ It's been seven months since the end of the Hundred Years War, and while the world will never be the same, improvements are beginning to show. The Earth Kingdom countryside once again fills with farmers seeking to return to their lands now that the Fire Nation threat has been eradicated. A new Earth Queen has been appointed, and while she is sly and cunning, she wants what is best for her people. _

_The Fire Nation, led by the hot-headed but idealistic Fire Lord Zuko, has managed to trace its way back to its merchant routes, finally leaving behind its intense focus on military. However, the countryside is still laced with Ozai supporters who have fled, and even more have infiltrated the cities, and possibly even the Fire Lord's palace itself. _

_The Southern Water Tribe has finally reconnected with its Northern sister and now begins to grow at an alarmingly quick rate. However, Chief Hakoda grows steadily sicker and sicker with an unknown disease, and the decision of where the burden of leadership will fall has not yet been decided. Even worse, another threat, older than the Avatar himself, preys upon the Southern Tribe, though they may not know it yet. _

_Finally, the Avatar Aang, the final airbender, still searches in vain for his fellows. Growing more hopeless by the day, the Avatar is growing reclusive, worrying not only his friends, but all the people of the three races…_

Chapter 1

The paper slices my skin. I hiss sharply, and then suck on the bleeding finger until the pain eases and the blood stops. My fingers are almost always peppered with paper cuts nowadays. I have so many questions, but there are so many more answers in the world, and they all seem to be in this stuffy, dusty old room.

Zuko calls it the library, but it certainly isn't like my library back home. Our library also served as my father's office, so I didn't go in there much as a teenager. But as a girl, I would often peruse through the room, bright from the natural light that streamed in through the multitude of windows.

_"Whatcha readin', squirt?"_ My father's voice is much easier to recall than his face. I can only truly picture him when I sleep, during the nightmares. They come much less often now, but I also feel a twinge of gratitude when they come. They remind me who I am. Why I'm searching. Where I've come from.

"Love?" a soft voice rings through the room and thrill runs up my spine. I wonder if I'll ever get used to this. Zuko wades through the packed, gloomy room, so different from the airy library of my girlhood.

"You need to sleep," he says to me. He's one to talk, what with his late nights, and dark bags under his eyes. "And eat." On cue, my stomach growls.

"I know," I say, standing, stretching, sighing. He presses a kiss to my temple. I yawn deeply and he scowls. "What?"

"This isn't healthy, hiding down here all day. There aren't any answers here. They'll be in Ba Sing Se," he mutters.

"I'm off to the Earth Kingdom then," I tease. He rolls his eyes at my idle threat. We are going to the Earth Kingdom capital in a little more than a week for the Noble's Meeting, so there's no point in my going now. When we first got back from our vacation—our wonderful, glorious, breathtaking vacation—I had considered going right away, but I couldn't stand to leave him. Not yet.

"How's it going?" I ask softly. Zuko doesn't answer. He doesn't like to talk about being the Fire Lord with me. He says that he already has to go through it once, no point in reliving it by talking about it. "Zu—"

"I got another lead on my mother today," Zuko says stiffly. I'm so startled that I stop walking—okay, shuffling—through the library. Zuko's arm around my back pushes me back into movement, and a trip over a large tome about Omashu. "And a major from the Earth Kingdom is here regarding another rebel base." His voice is so sour it takes me a moment to find my excitement.

Just because the Hundred Year War is over doesn't mean the fighting has stopped. Earth Kingdom rebels who believe the Fire Nation was let off too easy have begun guerilla warfare against many of the Fire Nation merchants who are beginning to traverse into the world. So, elite teams have been sent out to ambush their bases. More often than not, I'm brought on as one of the squad captains. Zuko doesn't approve.

I'm not sure what to tackle first—his mother, or the rebel problem. Remembering his anger the last time I went on one of the missions, I take the slightly easier topic. "What will you do about the lead?"

"Ignore it."

"What if this is the one?"

"It isn't." We walk in silence down the dark hallway while I debate if it's appropriate for me to ask for further information. Luckily, Zuko supplies it himself as we are walking up a grand set of stairs. "The major suspects the lead for my mother takes us to a rebel base."

"It's a trap?" My voice jumps a few octaves. "You aren't going are you?"

"Not unless you are," he says, raising one eyebrow and looking down at me slyly. He's got me trapped. I don't want him anywhere near the rebels, but if I try to sneak out and go, he'll follow right after me. His guards may be able to protect him, but they sure as hell can't contain him.

"You cheat," I say softly. His mouth starts to twitch into a smile, but then fades into the thoughtful glower he wears most often these days. I stand on my toes and kiss him softly. He looks pleasantly surprised, probably because we are in public, and I try to be very formal with him in front of others. Especially since the letters started coming.

The first was an official one from the new Earth Queen, stating that certain subjects were complaining that I should not be allowed to reside on the Nobles' Council, as I was affiliating with the enemy so closely. I sent a letter back reminding her Majesty that the Fire Nation was no longer the enemy. She sent me the actual letters back in response.

They weren't from the other nobles, as I'd expected. Instead they were from crude commonfolk. Most went along the lines of 'whore, in bed with the entire Fire Nation, screwing us over, etc…' Apparently being the Avatar's companion holds little weight in terms of my hero status anymore.

Not that Aang is being particularly helpful at the moment. He is due to return to the Earth Kingdom for the Nobles' Meeting, but barely anyone has seen him in two months. Katara and Sokka are back in the Water Tribe, caring for their ailing father and thriving clan. Suki is rebuilding Kyoshi Island. Toph is back with her parents, teaching metalbending and spreading pro-Fire Nation propaganda. Zuko and I are here, looking for answers about our parents.

"Delyssa!" The use of my full name finally brings my attention back to the present. Zuko's face is sharp, his scar standing out bright against his pale skin. He glares at me and I give him a dark look back. He's not mad at me, just the world, but it doesn't mean I'm going to let him take it out on me.

"Stick your lip out any further and a cardinal-crow's gonna land on it," I warn him during our private dinner.

"I'm not pouting," he pouts, stabbing his pineapple violently. Juice squirts out all over the table and he cusses. He wipes it up messily, angrily dismissing the servants that try to help. He catches a glimpse of my amused look. "I have to go," he snaps. He grabs a bread roll and storms out of the room.

"He's just stressed, he's just stressed," I repeat my familiar mantra. Being the Fire Lord after the longest war in recorded history isn't a walk in the park. I knew that when I was getting into this. But my own research isn't going anywhere, and the Noble's Meeting is in eleven days. Even worse, I turn eighteen in half a year. Once I do, I take on full responsibility for my inheritance, and have the influence of an entire noble family.

Of course, my own people think I'm a Fire Nation whore and a turncloak.

I sigh.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"You could be a little nicer," I say later that night while I'm brushing my hair. Zuko lounges in my chair, his eyes closed. At my words, they turn into amber slits as he barely opens them. "To me, that is."

"Terribly sorry," he says sarcastically. I don't say anything else, not wanting to stir up conflict. Then Zuko sucks in a deep breath and hauls himself out of his chair. He loops his arms around me from behind, the warmth of his chest radiating into my back. "I'm sorry."

I turn around and kiss him. "Forgiven," I promise. "Wanna stay here tonight?"

He shakes his head. "I want a bed." Whenever he stays the night, he insists on sleeping on the floor. It's maddening, but understandable. I think about offering him the other side of my ridiculously ginormous bed, but then wonder at my control and bite my tongue.

"I don't have to leave yet," he promises. "How's your research going?" I glance at him, surprised. He hasn't asked me about it yet. I disentangle myself from his arms and begin pacing across the room, kicking aside my old bow.

"Well, on the hair front: nothing. There's no evidence anywhere of a human being born with blond hair. The parents thing is a little better. They were funding weapons manufacturers, just as Theo guessed. The thing is, though, they weren't exclusive in who they supplied. Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom soldiers alike bought their weapons."

I sigh, frustrated. Suddenly Zuko's distinctive, slightly raspy voice is right in my ear. "I'm not saying you should just give up. But I know from experience that wanting to find the truth can become obsessive. Especially when it comes to family."

"Don't bother. I'm finding out what happened, Zuko," I say cautiously. I know he can be persuasive, but I refuse to be talked out of this. I wait, tense, but Zuko seems to have dropped the subject. "So, heard anything about Aang?"

"Guru Goody Goody is still M.I.A. "

"I—" I'm cut off by the appearance of a harried looking man in my doorway.

"Fire Lord Zuko, sorry for the interruption. You're needed immediately in the Throne Room," the page says, wringing his hands together. Zuko nods, his face empty of emotion.

"Come on, Del," he says. I'm startled. Even though I have the official title of Junior Ambassador to the Fire Nation, I don't often attend his meetings. He doesn't wait for me, striding out of my room and leaving me to hurry after him.

"What's going on?" Zuko asks as we enter the throne room. A group of soldiers stand in the middle of the room in a tense knot. Zuko reaches for my hand, and something about the atmosphere of the room encourages me to accept his reassuring gesture. "Explain!" he barks.

"Fire Lord, I must request that the Lady Delyssa leave the room for a brief moment," one of the men says. I wait for Zuko to rebuke him, to tell him that I can handle whatever the news is, and that he trusts me as much as anyone else alive.

"A minute, love," Zuko says instead, turning to me. He kisses the top of my head, and spins me around. "This shouldn't take long."

"What? No! I'm staying," I say firmly, planting my feet. Zuko scowls again. "I'm staying," I repeat.

"You're leaving," Zuko says, grabbing my arm and handing me off to one of his guards as if I was a child. "Thank you, Yohn," he tells the guard. "I'll send someone else out there to watch over her." Red with rage and humiliation, I allow myself to be led towards the door. Zuko watches me the whole way out with impassive eyes.

The door closes behind me. I press my ear to the door, but the wood is too thick and solid to hear even a peep. The hallway in front of me is dark, and I feel a twinge of unease, even though I know there are probably at least three firebenders within shouting distance. Funny how the presence of firebenders now reassures me when less than a half a month ago it would have terrified and angered me.

I can't imagine what they could be discussing in there. I don't know of anything that Zuko feels like he couldn't tell me. If it was simply something that he didn't want anyone else to know about, then he could just ask me not to tell anyone and I would. It must somehow relate to me or my loved ones. Perhaps something horrible has happened and Zuko doesn't want me to hear the news until all the facts are straight.

I pace back and forth, wandering slowly away from the door as time goes on and wondering if I should return to my bedroom. I glance back at the throne room door, which is now about twenty feet away.

Then the door creaks open and I glance up as someone slips through, closing it behind them. I can't tell who he is, though he obviously male, because his face is shadowed. It's not Zuko, as the man is too broad. "Excuse me, ma'am. Are you Lady Delyssa? Of the Earth Kingdom?" he rasps, walking towards me. I'm about to confirm this when he creates a small flame, lighting up his face, and I register who the man is.

His rough face and brown eyes have haunted my nightmares many times before. Not lately, but still… I'd recognize him anywhere. My hand flies to my back for an arrow before I remember it's not there. Instead I lean forward for the knife strapped to my ankle. As I do, my hair falls forward, into the light given off by the man's flame, revealing its color to him.

I can see the man's eyes widen in surprise, and then narrow. "You! I was supposed to kill you! I got in a lot of trouble for letting you escape." His tone is more speculative than menacing, but I still flinch away from him, falling back a half-step. I lift the knife, which glints with light from the flame.

"Murderer! " I cry, my voice hoarse with horror. "You monster!" I have never felt more terrified or sick in my life, because I am staring into the face of the lead firebender. The man who killed my parents.

"Well, you have no reason to fear me now," the man says tentatively. "I've been charged with your protection. Fire Lord Zuko will request your presence in a few moments." He reaches out for me, probably to draw me back towards the door, but I jump back with a shriek. "My lady, I told you—"

"You think that I can just _forgive_ you?" I whisper. "No. I swore I'd avenge them if I ever met you again. And, by the spirits, I will!" I whip my knife towards him, and it flies straight towards his throat. He firebends it into ash, and I grab my second knife, the one at my hip. He lunges for me, but I roll out of the way, coming up on one knee and ducking behind him.

There's shouting coming from behind me now, but I don't care. All I care about right now is that the bastard that killed my parents is right here, real and perfectly killable. He's just going to burn up my knife if I throw it, so I keep a firm grip on the hilt. He turns around to face me. I test him, stabbing my knife towards him. Zuko gave me this knife, but he was right when he gave it to me and said I wasn't much of a fighter when it came to hand-to-hand combat.

I slash the knife at the firebender, but he just sidesteps, catches my elbow, and yanks my arm behind my back, forcing me to drop the blade. I try to elbow him in the gut, but he just pulls my other arm back, holding me firmly in place. Desperate, I try to stomp at his instep, remembering Suki doing this once. I hit the perfect spot. He grunts in surprise and pain, and his grip loosens just enough for me to wrench free, pulling forward with enough force that when he lets go, I fall onto my hands and knees.

Breathing heavily, I try to get to my feet, but can't find the strength. My legs are shaky, knowing that he's _right there._

How many nightmares have I had? How many nightmares where his rough voice taunted me, explaining to me in great detail how he killed my parents, what my mother sounded like when she screamed, how my father tried to shield his face with a picture of me?

These nightmares were all products of my overactive and horrified imagination, but this fiend in front of me, this killer, he is real. He is real, and I can _end _him!

My legs find their strength again. I feel around on the ground for my knife and grab it. Still on all fours and breathing heavily, I steel myself. All I have to do is turn around and lash out. He's approached me and is right behind me. He won't have time to dodge. He won't have time to react. He'll be dead. The blood will drain from his face, and his skin will be pale as snow. His body will lose its warmth, and his limbs will stiffen.

Slowly, over time, his body will be destroyed. Skin will decompose until he is just bones, stained and ridged. His memory will fade until no one and nothing remembers him, save the wind, who will whisper about the blond haired girl who killed him in revenge for his monstrosities, his horrible deeds.

With a bloodthirsty scream, I jump up and whirl around. "Umph!" I exclaim as I turn right into something solid and warm. That something catches my wrists, twisting my hands so they are forced to release my blade.

"What the Agni? Del, what is wrong with you?" Zuko demands, still holding my wrists tightly. His face is pale and the skin appears stretched tight over bones. I struggle in his grip, hissing at the pain this causes. I can see the other soldiers over his shoulder, their faces shocked.

"Let me go! I'm going to _kill_ him!" I snarl.

"I'll have you know that Lieutenant Beck is an honorable and esteemed soldier. Threatening to kill him may not be the best way to appeal to the Fire Nation people," Zuko says lowly, looking a bit peeved. I glare at him, tempted to spit in his face or bite his fingers.

However, I refrain, and instead glower at Beck over Zuko's shoulder. "That's the man that killed my parents."

**Reviews are greatly appreciated. **

**For those of you who read my previous version of Recovery, parts of this and the next chapter may sound a little familiar.**


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"_No!" I wail as the heat engulfs me, burning and blistering my skin. "Please," I whimper, "please." I don't know what I'm begging for. Life or a quick death. This man, my attacker, the lead firebender who killed my parents, just laughs. "No!"_

"_Del!" _

_My eyes snap open, and I blink frantically as I try to take in my new surroundings. I'm… under the stars. Lying down underneath the inky sky with its pinpricks of light winking down at me. Not burning to death. Actually, the air is quite crisp, not hot at all. The warmest part of me is my left arm, which is stretched out at an awkward angle away from my body and pressed against Zuko's right arm. We must have fallen asleep holding hands._

"_Are you okay?" Zuko asks, his mouth forming a concerned, flat line. "That was a bad one, wasn't it?"_

_I suck in a deep breath. I've been trying to act stronger lately, sick of being so weak and tired of having to rely on Zuko almost every night to talk me down after the nightmares. "I'm fine," I say, but my voice shakes and Zuko's facial expression makes it clear that he sees right through me._

_He rolls over, gathering me in a hug. "I'm right here," he murmurs drowsily. "For as long as you want me."_

"_That sounds nice," I admit, still staring at the stars. They make me think of all my friends—Aang,Katara, Sokka, Toph, Suki—who are all over the world yet possibly looking at the same sky as me. "I just… I hate that he has so much power over me."_

"_Who?" Zuko demands, instantly angry and possibly mildly envious that some other man has power over me. _

"_The firebender that killed my parents. I don't even know his name, yet he has all this control over me," I murmur, letting my eyes close softly._

_Zuko slips one hand under the back of my head and forces me to sit up. My eyes open as he grips my hair gently but firmly, staring into my eyes with a strange sort of intensity. "He doesn't have any power over you," Zuko snarls. "You're free."_

"_I just meant—"_

_He interrupts. "He has no hold over your life. He's got nothing to do with you anymore! Besides, if we ever meet him, I'll kill him," Zuko says simply, as if that will solve all our problems. It's a bit unnerving, to hear Zuko talk about killing in such an indifferent, level voice. I shiver and my firebender wraps an arm around me, thinking I'm cold._

_As we are both beginning to drift off, I whisper his name. There's no answer from my dozing boyfriend. "If we ever meet him again, _I_ will be the one to kill him."_

Zuko has gone very still, all his muscles locked and stiff. He opens his mouth and makes a strange, strangled sound. His face has contorted into a strange forced smile that looks more like a grimace. I wonder if he's remembering the same night under the stars that I am.

"This is a joke, right?" Zuko asks, looking at me. His pained smile drops off his face and his voice drops to a whisper. "Please tell me this is a joke."

"Let me kill him," I say in a voice that does not sound like mine. "Let me kill him." There's a strange feeling in my chest, a pain that most closely resembles the feeling of leaving your hand in ice for too long.

Lieutenant Beck looks completely baffled by the events and turmoil surrounding him, but he does not shift from his defensive firebending pose. Staring at him now, he is younger than I had originally thought, maybe only thirty or so. His abrasive voice suggests a much longer life. He's not handsome, not at all, but there is a sort of lethal grace about him.

"I mean you no harm," Beck says, looking offended.

"Do you think that changes anything?" I scream, surging against Zuko. He stumbles backwards before regaining his balance and holding me back. My voice is rough, hoarse with grief. "Monster!"

"Calm down," Zuko orders in a cruel, cold voice. I'm familiar with this voice. I call it his Royal Voice. He used it on me, in the beginning, before we became friends. I haven't heard it directed at me in a long time, since the crystal catacombs in Ba Sing Se, maybe a little on Ember Island, and the shock of it now stills me.

There is silence for a moment. "He deserves to die," I hiss.

"Beck is very loyal to me. It wouldn't make sense for me to go around killing one of the few men I actually trust, now would it?" Zuko asks, dropping the Royal Voice and using a frank, matter of fact tone that's even worse. I stare at him in disbelief.

"I need to get out of here," I say, shoving myself away from Zuko, ignoring the way my hands are shaking. The darkness of the hallway disorients me, and Zuko grabs my arm to either steady or restrain me. He says my name as I shake his grip away. Then I whirl around and punch him in the jaw. He doesn't even step back half a step, infuriatingly enough, but he does touch his jaw lightly with his own hand, looking hurt. Have I ever hit him before? I don't think so. I can't remember a time, though I've wanted to before, and did throw a rock at his head in the crystal catacombs.

"N-n-n-n-n—" I can't seem to speak, and my entire body trembles. I'm not asleep, I know this, but it's almost like I'm having a nightmare. I can see Beck, standing in front of me, and behind him, standing pale and bloodless, float my parents, looking like zombies.

Beck is speaking my hallucination, and Zuko is speaking in reality, but I can't hear a thing. The blood is pounding in my ears and I've lost all feelings in my fingers. I recognize all the signs of fainting, but I fight it off. It just wouldn't do to have me fainting now, amidst all this action.

"Can we deal with this later? Much later?" one of the soldiers asks. "We've got rebels to deal with." That's why I wasn't allowed to stay in the room—Zuko must have ordered all his soldiers to keep any further information on the rebels away from me so that I wouldn't request to go out on a mission again. I'm too distraught to be angry at Zuko or excited at the prospect of another mission.

Zuko has turned back to the soldier and is saying something, and I take the opportunity to barrel into Beck, knocking him to the floor. We fall together, and I trap his arms against his sides with my legs. I draw my fist back and punch him once, twice, three times. Then someone's hands are underneath my armpits and they're hauling me up.

It isn't until they are pulling me down the hall that I realize Beck let me punch him and didn't fight back.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Ozai supporters litter my own home, Del! Half my council wants me dead, and I don't know which half! My people still consider me a traitor and a usurper! The Earth Kingdom thinks I'm just as savage as my father and sister, and the Water Tribes think little better of me! So, in the midst of all this, why would you try to kill one of the few people I trust! I understand your predicament! Probably better than anyone else! But you made a scene and acted like a child! You can't just go around murdering people who have done you wrong!

"Katara didn't kill the man who murdered her mother. Aang didn't kill my father, who slaughtered his entire people and countless others. Yet you seek to kill the man who is on our side, simply because he followed orders to save his life. Beck has been working against my father before even I was! As soon as Azula took over Ba Sing Se, he joined the resistance movement."

Zuko paces back and forth across my room as he makes his speech. Back and forth, back and forth. I pull subtly against my restraints. The doctors sedated me and tied me down after the confrontation with Beck. A nurse sits in the corner of my room, quietly reading and politely pretending to ignore Zuko.

"Let me up," I say quietly.

"No, because you'll just jump up and try to go find Beck like the last two times," he growls. He points at me angrily. "You're staying there until Beck is gone from the city." He crosses his arms, the muscles tight.

"Well I have to pee again," I say loftily. Zuko whistles and two guards walk in. Together, the three of them untie and escort me to my bathroom, which is just one room away. As Zuko doesn't trust me at all, the female guard walks in with me and stands outside of the smaller room where the toilet is. I scowl, as I had been planning on climbing out of the bathroom window.

Then they walk me right back to my bed and start to tie me in again. I jerk my wrist away. "No." There has to be some sort of law against this.

"Yes," Zuko growls, pushing me back down onto the bed. "Beck leaves tonight."

Sure enough, I'm untied just as the sun sets. The nurse and the guards leave so it's just me and Zuko in my room. I can't look at him. I cross my arms, leaning against my headboard and glaring into the fire.

"Del. Delyssa. I'm sorry. But I need Beck. He's important to me."

"Get out," I snap, my eyes meeting his furiously. He gives me a sad look before leaving the room. Beck is gone from the city, possibly out of my reach forever. Even worse, Zuko claimed that the murderer was important to him. What the hell does that mean? My rage quite literally blinds me, until my vision is fuzzy and everything is a little too bright, the edges a little too sharp.

Zuko returns later that night, which surprises me. I decide that I'm still angry at him, and ignore him, flipping through a book Zuko had found for me a few weeks ago on strange human phenomena. I've been seeking any mention of old colorings or pigmentation, but it's mostly about people who are super strong, or have incredible reflexes, or advanced bending like bloodbending or the ability to create lightning within their bodies like Azula. There is no mention of metalbending, as the technique is far too recent to have been documented yet.

Zuko flops down on my bed while I read, and his distinct breathing is quiet, yet distracting. There's that little pause between inhale and exhale. It's something so unique about him that I've always picked up on before. It's a pause where everything is silence and tense and you are able to listen and hear and feel and see _everything. _Maybe it's a firebender thing, this slight pause. Maybe it's a Zuko thing. But he does it. And since he does it, I wonder if every couple of seconds he is more aware of the world than the rest of us are. The familiarity of the pause almost brings down my angry walls. But it doesn't. Instead, his next words do.

"I'm leaving."

I freeze in the middle of turning my page. My heart thumps hard once, then settles into a quick, anxious tempo. "I'm going with you?" I try to sound firm, but end up asking.

"No."

"Rebels?"

"No."

"Your mother?"

"No."

"What then?"

"Stuff."

"Stuff," I repeat, disturbed by our brief exchanges. I set the book down on the nightstand next to me and roll over to face him.

"Fire Lord stuff. I'm needed in the other major Fire Nation cities. I won't be gone long. I'll return right before the Nobles' Meeting to accompany you to the Earth Kingdom," he explains, sitting up and watching me. There is silence, and I find myself synchronizing my breathing to his. Inhale, pause, exhale, pause, inhale, pause, exhale, pause.

Finally, I say desperately, "I'll come with you. I'll help." I sit up sharply, swinging my legs out of bed and crossing the room to stand in front of the fireplace. The fire is mostly gone, and the coals just glitter prettily now.

"No."

"It's because _he's_ going to be there, isn't it?" I growl. Zuko stands as well and crosses to me, to embrace me. I let him, hoping that if I'm compliant and affable, he'll agree to let me come along. I'm not sure I can survive that long in this foreign palace without him, and besides that it would give me an opportunity to stick an arrow in one of Beck's vital organs.

"Del. If Beck hadn't been on our side, the transition of power would never have gone so smoothly. He had already convinced many of the higher ranking generals to back me, and was allying himself with the new, open-minded generation of Fire Nation nobility."

"He killed my family."

"He had orders. Besides, he's a good man."

"You weren't there!" I scream, wrenching out of his grip. Suddenly, the scene washes over me, as fresh as the day it occurred. One minute the cook had been trying to chase me off, then I was surrounded. They swarmed me so quickly I didn't even have a chance to react. Beck, though I hadn't known his name at the time, had approached me, so close that I could smell his breath.

He had looked down at me, his eyes cold. _"Who's the pretty girl?"_ I hear his voice say. The cook had lied for me, told him I was some merchant girl. Beck had held my hair, letting it stream through his fingers, lifting it in his palm. _"Her hair is… yellow_." He hadn't said it meanly, not really. He had just been confused, not threatening. I had hit him. Well, just his hand. I was only trying to free myself.

I thought for sure he would incinerate me. He eyes had narrowed, and he wouldn't answer my demands about my parents. But then, he had led the other firebenders, some of whom had more ominous looks in their eyes, away from me. Beck may not have even been the one who killed them. He was just their squad leader. And I don't even really know that for sure. For all I know, he may have just been the first one to recover from the shock of my hair.

My head hurts as I try, for the first time, to consider that the lead firebender wasn't actually the one that killed my parents. Wasn't actually a horrible person who sacrificed babies and tortured puppies for fun. The lead firebender. Beck. A good man.

"He still condoned murder," I hiss.

"As do you. You tried to kill him today," Zuko reminds me.

"That's not murder. That's justice," I tell him, crossing my arms.

"That's vengeance! And it will drive you to madness!" Zuko shouts suddenly, his hands latching onto my biceps. His golden eyes are wide. I reach up and touch his scar softly. "Yes. Yes. Like it did to me. You and Uncle finally dragged me out of my madness; it's only fair I return the favor."


End file.
